Blood Boiling

On Tuesday, I attended my Young Adult group’s Spiritual Classics Book Club.  Somehow we veered off the topic of Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales and engaged in a hearty talk on dating in modern American culture.  One of my dear friends admitted that she’d had an upsetting chat over the weekend with someone who told her that if she didn’t play by modern rules (sleeping together relatively soon, etc.), she wouldn’t find anyone to date, let alone marry.

The minute I heard this I began to seethe.  Literally turned red, blood boiling, hands shaking.  Because who DARES to tell my beautiful, delightful friend that unless she decides to devalue sex, her body, her soul, she won’t be able to find a husband?  WHO DARES?

Isn’t the body the Temple of the Holy Spirit? 

Can we get a little respect please?

If you have a brain, heart, dreams, and want a meaningful, chaste relationship, you might as well give up? 

You’re only worth one part of your body, didn’t you know! 

If you have a vagina and are willing to play, you’re in!  If not, you’re out!


When Jesus saw his Father’s Temple turned into a marketplace, he was consumed with zeal, drove out the livestock with with a whip, and overturned tables in anger (John 2: 15-16).  Maybe it’s time to show our anger.  No more mincing words.  Call the hook up culture for what is it: blatant use of another person’s body.  Remind people that IT IS NOT OKAY.  I don’t care if two people agree to use each other.  I don’t care if it feels good.  I don’t care if you don’t care.  IT IS NOT OKAY.

My sister and I once had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: So your friends are dating?
Sister: No, hooking up.
Me: They really like each other?
Sister: Uhh, they’re just hooking up.
Me: So they’re using each other?
Sister: I mean, if you want to put it that way…

Well, yes, I do want to put it that way.  Because that’s what it is, and I’m disgusted by it.  That someone might dare to view my family members or my friends as one body part, specifically one naked body part, makes my blood boil.  Each person is a unique, beloved child of God, and our culture wants to make us into nothing more than writhing masses.  It’s sickening.  It’s maddening.  It’s disgusting. 

Time to start cracking the whip!